Blissful Existence

Blissful Existence

Five years and a lifetime away,

my loft in California painted white.

Portraits speckle the walls.

Furniture passed down for years

tossed out, traded, sold, forgotten;

riddles my loft in a trendy manner.

Walk down the street and around the corner

unlock the front door and enter.

The smell of pastries float to the nostrils,

Cotton apron hugs my hips,

A friendly smile and a have a nice day

the bell rings as a happy customer exits.

Walk home after a satisfying night.

Open the computer to an email,

I sit and ponder who it could be.

Is someone really looking for me?

The ache in my heart for the friends,

the friends that have been.

I close the computer, sick at heart.

A friend close to me has made her depart.

I wake up to my loft bending with the tremors,

Reaching for my robe, falling to the floor

I crawl my way through the dark to the door.

A crackle comes from the ceiling

then everything goes black.

I open my eyes and I am at my reunion,

everyone is staring and pointing at me.

I run and run until my lungs ache

my body has taken all it can take

blood trickles down my cheek,

I try to scream but I cannot speak

I am trembling like an earthquake with fear.

I wonder... am I dreaming? or am I dead?

I wake up under a pile of rubble.

A hand reaches down and plucks me out

I wondered if I was going to get out.

Dusty red curls hang around my face,

A pain on my side, a bruise blemishes my tattoo.

As I lay in the white hospital bed,

I dream.

I dream of a dark place, my life ending before truly lived,

Leaving me unfulfilled, wanting more.

A life fulfilled is a life lived.

My life was only half lived, happy but still searching.

Travelling the world is what I'll do next.

When I return I'll publish a book of my travels,

About the places I went, the people I met.

A life unlived isn't a life at all.